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Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Facebook

30+ Fascinating Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Facebook – Its Thanksgiving and how can you leave aside your Facebook family? We know how important it is for you. In this world of socialization, you find a majority of dear ones or stay connected with them here on Facebook. This Thanksgiving is meant for them too. So if you are looking for some Funny Thanksgiving Quotes to upload on your status bar? There is a vast collection waiting out for your eyes.

We know there is no substitute for words to express yourself. So, we make it the strongest tool for you with these fascinating Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Facebook. Though this day makes you turn a bit emotional but creativity lies in being funny at the same time. Relax! You need not do the labour. Just copy and paste the humorous collection of Thanksgiving quotes on your Facebook homepage or let your People’s Timeline loaded with these amazing Thanksgiving quotes. This stuff is definitely going to make your FB family feel special. Post out to get notified for the entire day. Happy Thanksgiving!

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Facebook

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

  1. You know that just before the first Thanksgiving there was one wise old Native American woman saying, “Don’t feed them. If you feed them, they’ll never leave.” – Dylan Brody
  2. Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? Yes. A building can’t jump at all!
  3. A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn’t find one big enough. She asked the stock boy “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “No they’re dead”.
  4. I don’t eat pumpkin pie. It’s made from the guts of jack-o-lanterns, and that’s just spooky. – Melanie White
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  6. Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.” —Jim Davis
  7. “Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before.” —Rita Rudner
  8. Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shotgun going, Blam! Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are?” —Kenny Rogerson
  9. We’re having something different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing.” —George Carlin
  10. Even though we’re a week and a half away from Thanksgiving, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.” —Richard Roeper

See More>> Funny Thanksgiving Quotes and Sayings

Thanksgiving Status for Friends

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  1. Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.” — Kevin James – Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
  2. Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.” — Johnny Carson
  3. “Here I am 5 o’clock in the morning stuffing bread crumbs up a dead bird’s butt…” — Roseanne Barr
  4. You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.” —Jay Leno
  5. Even though we’re a week and a half away from Thanksgiving, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.” — Richard Roeper – Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
  6. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.” — Stephen Colbert
  7. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself.” — Mitch Hedberg
  8. Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before.” — Rita Rudner“You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.” — Jay Leno – Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
  9. Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not the coincidence.” — Erma Bombeck
  10. I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.” — Erma Bombeck

Short Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

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  1. Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.” ― Michael Dresser
  2. This one may be a bit gross, but it did make me chuckle
  3. If you’re at a Thanksgiving dinner, but you don’t like the stuffing or the cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend like you’re eating it, but instead, put it all in your lap and form it into a big mushy ball. Then, later, when you’re out back having cigars with the boys, let out a big fake cough and throw the ball to the ground. Then say, ‘Boy, these are good cigars!’” – Jack Handey
  4. If I was a turkey, I’d be doing everything I could to taste terrible right now.
  5. My aunt is bringing her homemade cranberry sauce to our Thanksgiving dinner, and my uncle is bringing his blatant racism! – Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
  6. They should change the name of Thanksgiving to something more fitting like say, Turkeypocolypse or Stuffing-cide
  7. Want to really freak someone out? Add 2 extra turkey legs to the turkey when it’s in the oven.
  8. You have to smoke a couple of bowls before Thanksgiving dinner. I can’t think of a better time to have the munchies. – Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
  9. There is a special place in hell for people that play Christmas music before Thanksgiving.
  10. If you didn’t want to sit at the kids’ table then you shouldn’t have seen the new Twilight movie. – Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
  11. I never understood why the Lions and Cowboys always get to play on Thanksgiving.
  12. Shouldn’t the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium. – Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

Images for Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Facebook

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