Most Inspiring Funny Thanksgiving Sayings and Quotes – So, are you all set to make this Thanksgiving full of gratitude together with fun? If yes! We are ready to accompany you. We have a wonderful collection of funny Thanksgiving quotes and sayings to help you kick start your festivities on a grateful note. So, stop giving it a second thought. Just raise your glass, set your spirit high and share these most inspiring funny thanksgiving sayings and quotes with your dear ones. Just show them how thankful you are while keeping your humor high.
Looking for the perfect moment to come and celebrate your Thanksgiving? Stop waiting! Snatch the moment and make it perfect. When the family, friends and all your dear ones gather around a table, just take a moment and express your gratitude with these funny and most amazing thanksgiving quotes and sayings. These thanksgiving quotes are going to fetch you the attention while making you express in the most amazing manner.
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes and Sayings
1. If you count all your assets, you always show a profit. ~ Robert Quillen
2. I have strong doubts that the first Thanksgiving even remotely resembled the “history” I was told in second grade. But considering that (when it comes to holidays) mainstream America’s traditions tend to be over-eating, shopping, or getting drunk, I suppose it’s a miracle that the concept of giving thanks even surfaces at all. ~ Ellen Orleans
3. Thanksgiving: Not a good day to be my pants! ~ Kevin James
4. Happy We-Stole-Your-Land-and-Killed-Your-People Day! ~ Thanksgiving toast, from the movie Sweet November
5. Thanksgiving Day, a function which originated in New England two or three centuries ago when those people recognized that they really had something to be thankful for – annually, not oftener – if they had succeeded in exterminating their neighbors, the Indians, during the previous twelve months instead of getting exterminated by their neighbors, the Indians. Thanksgiving Day became a habit, for the reason that in the course of time, as the years drifted on, it was perceived that the exterminating had ceased to be mutual and was all on the white man’s side, consequently on the Lord’s side; hence it was proper to thank the Lord for it and extend the usual annual compliments. ~ Mark Twain
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6. Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shotgun going, Blam! Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are? – Kenny Rogerson
7. I celebrated Thanksgiving the old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.” – Jon Stewart
8. Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape … to play Santa Claus. – Melanie White
9. I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’m thankful for that.” – Howie Mandel
10. Shot my first turkey today..scared the crap out of everyone in the froze food section, it was awesome
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
11. Store security stopped my wife at the door for trying to steal a butterball turkey. I had to show ID 12. proving I’m not a butterball turkey. – Just Bill
12. I’m looking forward to seeing pie this Thanksgiving more than members of my own family. – Damien Fahey
13. What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? To be or not to be roasted, that is the question.
14. Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes.Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not the coincidence. ~Erma Bombeck
15. What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? – Erma Bombeck
16. I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall a number of times and then ordering online.” —Kumail Nanjiani
17. I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.” —Erma Bombeck
18. The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ ‘But we do that every day!’ ‘Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?’” —Jim Gaffigan
19. I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’m thankful for that.” —Howie Mandel
20. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself.” —Mitch Hedberg
Funny Thanksgiving Sayings
21. Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks.
22. They should change the name of Thanksgiving to something more fitting like say, Turkeypocolypse or Stuffing-cide.
23. Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, one by one, as each relative goes home. – Melanie White
24. Who doesn’t eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
25. A new survey found that 80 percent of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Which makes sense, when you hear they consider saying “that smells good” to be helping – Jimmy Fallon
26. The funny thing about Thanksgiving, or any huge meal, is that you spend 12 hours shopping for it and then chopping and cooking and braising and blanching. Then it takes 20 minutes to eat it and everybody sort of sits around in a food coma, and then it takes four hours to clean it up. ~ Ted Allen
27. Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey – until Thanksgiving. ~ Mike Connolly
28. The thing I’m most thankful for right now is elastic waistbands. ~ Anonymous
29. I love Thanksgiving turkey. It’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger
30. Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. ~ Johnny Carson
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