Funny Thanksgiving Quotes, Messages, Greetings, Images

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10 Funny Thanksgiving Stories

10 Best Funny Thanksgiving Stories – Who doesn’t love reading or hearing to the stories? Everybody does! So, this Thanksgiving let it remain a bit special. We have a wide range of funny Thanksgiving stories to help you share the ideas that convey gratitude to your relations. No matter what your relationship is, all it takes is a praising collection of words. These funny Thanksgiving talk about various things that your special ones seek to listen.

Stories actually define the feelings hidden deep inside your heart. So, this festival let it turn special for your people. When the stories refer you, there’s no other feeling that can replace the proud. We have such a collection of funny Thanksgiving stories that people will feel refer them and none else. So, share it across and let this Thanksgiving be the most unique and memorable for all you and the people you are thankful to. Share it and let it be shared for the best Thanksgiving ever.

funny thanksgiving stories

funny Thanksgiving stories

First, 1993 telling of an improbable legend that dates to at least 1880:

A woman who got it into her head that a fresh turkey produced a far superior meal to a frozen one made a trek out to a turkey farm to buy a live bird. But after returning home and looking square into the eyes of the living, breathing creature she’d just purchased, she just couldn’t bring herself to kill it by wringing its neck or chopping off its head. Instead, she managed to put the turkey to sleep with chloroform and then began the process of dry-plucking it. Just as she finished removing the last of the feathers, however, the bird woke up.

The next-door neighbors responded to her shouts and arrived at her back door to find a woman being chased around her kitchen by an angry, naked turkey.

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Deals with Christmas rather than Thanksgiving, but it’s a turkey of a tale all the same:

Last year at Christmastime, my mom went to my sister’s house for the traditional holiday feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store and asked if my sister wouldn’t mind going out to get it.

When my sister left the house, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey, then re-stuffed the turkey.

She then placed the bird(s) back into the oven.

When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.

With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, ‘Barbara, you’ve cooked a pregnant bird!’

At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry hysterically. It took the entire family almost two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!

Yes, my sister is a BLONDE.

See More ->>> 10 Inspirational Thanksgiving Poems

funny thanksgiving stories

funny Thanksgiving stories

Turkey Hunters’ Tale

Tommy and Billy were discussing their latest turkey shoot. Tommy says emphatically, ‘I am never going to take my wife Laura shooting with me ever again, Billy!’

‘That bad, eh?’ enquires Billy smiling.
‘Yeah, Laura did everything wrong, got nothing right.  She chattered too much, constantly disturbed the undergrowth, loaded the wrong gauge shot in the gun, used the wrong luring whistles and worst of all,’ bellows Tommy, ‘she shot more turkeys than me!’

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Cold Turkey – A Funny Thanksgiving Story

It was the Monday before Thanksgiving, Bobby Evans collapsed in a Wal-Mart in Worcester Massachusetts.  Other customers gathered around and the first-aider was summoned.  It did not look good for Bobby, there was blood coming out of his ear, his face looked white and he was unconscious.

The store manager dialed 911 and when the medical team arrived the first thing they did was take off Bobby’s hat, to everyone’s amazement inside was a partially frozen turkey.  What felled Bobby was the chill from turkey numbing his brain.  The blood came from the giblets which had melted and leaked over his hair and down into his ear.

As it was Thanksgiving the manager took pity, and rather than prosecuting the shop-lifter, gave him the partly thawed bird and sent Bobby on his way.  Two days later the manager got the letter from Bobby apologizing for his behavior and thanking the manager for his action.  Also inside the envelope was $15, the price of his turkey.

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funny thanksgiving Quotes

funny thanksgiving Quotes

The Man Who Forgot to Buy a Turkey for Thanksgiving

It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door.

‘Please let me in, ‘says the man desperately. ‘I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don’t come home with one.’

‘Okay, ‘says the butcher.’ Let me see what I have left.’ He goes into the freezer and discovers that there’s one last scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.

‘That’s one is too skinny. What else you got?’ says the man.

The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.

‘Oh, no, ‘says the man, ‘That one doesn’t look any better. You better give me both of them!’

Funny Thanksgiving Jokes from the School Room

Gratitude
In the week before Thanksgiving Mary-Jo asked her class of 9 year-olds to write a paragraph entitled:
‘What I am most thankful for on Thanksgiving Day’.

All Joey could write was:  ‘I am thankful that I’m not a turkey at Thanksgiving.’

Crossing I
Mary-Jo (Teacher): Why did the turkey cross the road?
Joey: It was the chicken’s day off.

Crossing II
Mary-Jo: ‘Why do you think that the Pilgrims sail from England to America?’
Joey: ‘Because they missed their plane.’

Crossing III
Mary-Jo: ‘What did the farmer get when he crossed a centipede with a turkey?’
Joey: ‘100 drumsticks.’

See More ->>> 35 Happy Thanksgiving Day Wishes

Happy Thanksgiving Pictures

Happy Thanksgiving Pictures

That Time Turkey Miming Skills Paid Off

“The first Thanksgiving after moving overseas, I decided to treat my family to a traditional turkey dinner. I went to the closest store, which happened to be French-speaking, and approached the area where a variety of meats were laid out. Not being fluent in French, I looked and tried to determine on my own whether the large poultry breasts I saw were turkey or goose. The butcher indicated that he was ready to help me. I asked in broken French if he spoke English; he replied, ‘No.’ I tried again, asking if he spoke German; again, he replied, ‘No.’ I pointed at the poultry breasts, then tucked my thumbs in my armpits, flapped my arms, and said, ‘Gobble, gobble?’ The butcher broke into a smile as he replied, ‘Oui.’ Embarrassing, sure, but I ended up with a turkey and the butcher got a laugh!” —Monica H., Kalamazoo, MI

That Time the Refrigerator Failed

“A few years ago, my husband and I had my parents and sister up for Thanksgiving for the first time. The evening before while prepping, my refrigerator door fell off! (It was not an old fridge!) Thanks to the hubby being here, he temporarily fixed it. Thanksgiving morning, I had a big ham all glazed up and ready when I realized my stove stopped working! I started crying, I was so upset. (Not to mention I woke up with a stomach virus). Mom saved the day by using an old toaster oven to fix the ham. It took hours and hours, but we ate. Needless to say, I got a new stove and fridge the next day, and NONE of our families ever want to have holiday dinners here!” —Missy Moody Richmond

Happy Thanksgiving Images

Happy Thanksgiving Images

“Where’s Aunt Florence?”

After Thanksgiving dinner, the adults gathered in the living room to exchange reminiscences, while the children went into the family room to play. Suddenly our hostess noticed that an elderly relative was missing. “Where’s Aunt Florence?” she asked.

From across the room came a masculine drawl, “Oh, she’s with the kids, bridging the generation gap.”

Contributed by Florence M. Mortimer

Tollbooth Timer

I worked on a toll road, answering the phone, collecting money and issuing toll tickets. One Thanksgiving Day, a woman called to ask about road conditions on the turnpike. After I said everything was A-okay, she told me a friend was coming for dinner. Then came the stumper. “If my friend just left from exit twelve,” she asked, “what time should I put the turkey in?”

Contributed by Sandra Shields

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