Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Teachers

30+ Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Teachers: Every powerful man has once passed through the hands of a teacher. Teaching is such a profession that builds the carrier of students in a healthy way. Whether it is Teachers’ day or just we want to regard them as their selfless service with a lot of care, here are some great Thanksgiving quotes for teachers.

We can also send these quotes on World Teachers’ day which is celebrated on 5th October. Various countries celebrate this day in various different ways. It can be by making teachers relax on this day or by having a party for them.And posting special quotes for teachers day and making them feel special. Additionally, below are various other quotes for teachers and the prime role they play in our lives.

See More>>Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Birthday Wishes

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
– Johnny Carson

Stove Top Dressing: satisfying your craving for a big bowl full of wet onions and mush since 1957!
– Mike Vanatta

If you’re at a Thanksgiving dinner, but you don’t like the stuffing or the cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend like you’re eating it, but instead, put it all in your lap and form it into a big mushy ball. Then, later, when you’re out back having cigars with the boys, let out a big fake cough and throw the ball to the ground. Then say, ‘Boy, these are good cigars!’

– Jack Handey

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.” —Erma Bombeck

The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ ‘But we do that every day!’ ‘Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?’” —Jim Gaffigan

Charlie Brown
What if, today, we were grateful for everything?

Maya Angelou
Be present in all things and thankful for all things.

Erma Bombeck
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

Anne Frank
No one has ever become poor by giving.

Oprah Winfrey
Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more.

Great Uncle Jefferson Taylor occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution, he was attached to his position by the strongest of ties, and his death came as a great shock.

The Secret of Stuffing a Turkey
How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?  Only one, but you REALLY have to squeeze to get him in.

The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself. Benjamin Franklin

The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts. No Americans have been more impoverished than these who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving.  H.U. Westermayer

There are only two ways to live your life.  One is as though nothing is a miracle.  The other is as if everything is. Albert Einstein

Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shotgun going, Blam! Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are? – ”Kenny Rogerson

I celebrated Thanksgiving the old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.” – €”Jon Stewart

Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape … to play Santa Claus. – Melanie White

I’€™m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’€™m thankful for that.” – €”Howie Mandel

Shot my first turkey today..scared the crap out of everyone in the froze food section, it was awesome

Store security stopped my wife at the door for trying to steal a butterball turkey. I had to show ID proving I’m not a butterball turkey. – Just Bill

I’m looking forward to seeing pie this Thanksgiving more than members of my own family. – Damien Fahey

What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? To be or not to be roasted, that is the question.

For those of you who cannot be with family this Thanksgiving, please resist the urge to brag.
– Andy Borowitz

You know that just before the first Thanksgiving there was one wise old Native American woman saying, “Don’t feed them. If you feed them, they’ll never leave.”
– Dylan Brod

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Facebook

30+ Fascinating Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Facebook – Its Thanksgiving and how can you leave aside your Facebook family? We know how important it is for you. In this world of socialization, you find a majority of dear ones or stay connected with them here on Facebook. This Thanksgiving is meant for them too. So if you are looking for some Funny Thanksgiving Quotes to upload on your status bar? There is a vast collection waiting out for your eyes.

We know there is no substitute for words to express yourself. So, we make it the strongest tool for you with these fascinating Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Facebook. Though this day makes you turn a bit emotional but creativity lies in being funny at the same time. Relax! You need not do the labour. Just copy and paste the humorous collection of Thanksgiving quotes on your Facebook homepage or let your People’s Timeline loaded with these amazing Thanksgiving quotes. This stuff is definitely going to make your FB family feel special. Post out to get notified for the entire day. Happy Thanksgiving!

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Facebook

  1. You know that just before the first Thanksgiving there was one wise old Native American woman saying, “Don’t feed them. If you feed them, they’ll never leave.” – Dylan Brody
  2. Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? Yes. A building can’t jump at all!
  3. A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn’t find one big enough. She asked the stock boy “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “No they’re dead”.
  4. I don’t eat pumpkin pie. It’s made from the guts of jack-o-lanterns, and that’s just spooky. – Melanie White
  5.         
  6. Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.” —Jim Davis
  7. “Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before.” —Rita Rudner
  8. Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shotgun going, Blam! Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are?” —Kenny Rogerson
  9. We’re having something different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing.” —George Carlin
  10. Even though we’re a week and a half away from Thanksgiving, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.” —Richard Roeper

See More>> Funny Thanksgiving Quotes and Sayings

Thanksgiving Status for Friends

  1. Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.” — Kevin James – Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
  2. Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.” — Johnny Carson
  3. “Here I am 5 o’clock in the morning stuffing bread crumbs up a dead bird’s butt…” — Roseanne Barr
  4. You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.” —Jay Leno
  5. Even though we’re a week and a half away from Thanksgiving, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.” — Richard Roeper – Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
  6. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.” — Stephen Colbert
  7. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself.” — Mitch Hedberg
  8. Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before.” — Rita Rudner“You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.” — Jay Leno – Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
  9. Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not the coincidence.” — Erma Bombeck
  10. I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.” — Erma Bombeck

Short Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

  1. Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.” ― Michael Dresser
  2. This one may be a bit gross, but it did make me chuckle
  3. If you’re at a Thanksgiving dinner, but you don’t like the stuffing or the cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend like you’re eating it, but instead, put it all in your lap and form it into a big mushy ball. Then, later, when you’re out back having cigars with the boys, let out a big fake cough and throw the ball to the ground. Then say, ‘Boy, these are good cigars!’” – Jack Handey
  4. If I was a turkey, I’d be doing everything I could to taste terrible right now.
  5. My aunt is bringing her homemade cranberry sauce to our Thanksgiving dinner, and my uncle is bringing his blatant racism! – Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
  6. They should change the name of Thanksgiving to something more fitting like say, Turkeypocolypse or Stuffing-cide
  7. Want to really freak someone out? Add 2 extra turkey legs to the turkey when it’s in the oven.
  8. You have to smoke a couple of bowls before Thanksgiving dinner. I can’t think of a better time to have the munchies. – Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
  9. There is a special place in hell for people that play Christmas music before Thanksgiving.
  10. If you didn’t want to sit at the kids’ table then you shouldn’t have seen the new Twilight movie. – Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
  11. I never understood why the Lions and Cowboys always get to play on Thanksgiving.
  12. Shouldn’t the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium. – Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

Images for Funny

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Birthday Wishes

Best Ever Collection of Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Birthday Wishes: Birthday is the day when we can do whatever we are not supposed to do. Our loved ones shower their blessings in form of gifts and presents. In return, we must express our thanks to them. Here we present some exclusive Thanksgiving quotes for Birthday wishes so we can use them in return of the valuable wishes given on our birthday after all it is an easy and effective way to show that the wishes of our friends and family mean a lot to us. In addition to Thanksgiving quotes for Birthday wishes, we also have a variety of Thanksgiving quotes for various events and days.

See More ->> Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

I want to say thanks to you for travelling that seven km just for the free drinks, yummy cake and delicious food. Hats Off to your considerable efforts buddy!
Thanks buddy for making me little poorer this year. Don’t expect me to spare you on your birthday now.
I should thank Facebook to make you remember my birthday.
I must say thanks to you for making me realize that how good I am with my writing skills while writing this thank you note.
Thank you for travelling 4 km for free cake, food, and drinks. Great efforts!

Thank you for making me poorer by a few bucks. Am going to take my revenge soon.So, should I thank you or facebook birthday reminder for remembering my birthday?
Thank you for forcing me to write a thank you note. How else would I know if my writing skills are good or not?
Thank you for your compelling presence. It made me check my bank balance.
Thank you for being a total nut. It made me laugh for turning a year older.
Thank you for wishing me a day before my birthday. Shows your eagerness for the treat.

I can’t understand you, but those plates won’t clear themselves. ~ David Goodman
My wife asked me how to thaw a turkey? I said I usually just tell your mom a few jokes. If that doesn’t work there’s always alcohol. ~ Shane
I can’t wait to not eat the candied yams on Thanksgiving. ~ Sara
What do you call a short video from Thanksgiving that keeps repeating? ThanksGIFing. ~ Ellen DeGeneres
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. ~ Phyllis Diller

After Thanksgiving dinner men fall asleep because they’re full of turkey; women fall asleep because they’re exhausted.
– Melanie White
Ever notice how you never get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it’s because all the coats are on the bed.
– George Carlin
Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.” —Kevin James
It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.” —Phyllis Diller
I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall a number of times and then ordering online.” —Kumail Nanjiani

An attitude of gratitude brings great things. – Yogi Bhajan
When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around. – Willie Nelson
If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share. – W. Clement Stone
I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual – Henry David Thoreau
When I was a kid in Indiana, we thought it would be fun to get a turkey a year ahead of time and feed it and so on for the following Thanksgiving. But by the time Thanksgiving came around, we sort of thought of the turkey as a pet, so we ate the dog. Only kidding. It was the cat! David Letterman
What did the hen tell the naughty chicks?
If you your father could see you now he would turn in his gravy. – Grave Humor

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for a Smile

Best 30 Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for a Smile – Thanksgiving is on its core. A day full of fun, good food, good friends, fun times and yes the good wine cannot be escaped at all. Just take out some extra time and pull your socks up to use your pure heart and say thanks for all the good that you have in this world. The day has an aura to make you feel emotional and smile is something that we do not want you to miss. So, here we are with a thrilling collection of Funny Thanksgiving quotes for a smile.

We believe gratitude needs to be offered each single day. So, be it Thanksgiving or any day of the year, you wish to experience a heart full of emotions? Say it out in the funniest way and bring a smile on the faces you have always wanted. Excited to share with the ones you want to say thanks to? Just pay a glance at the most funniest thanksgiving quotes for smile shared here. And yes! Do not forget to leave these wonderful messages for your loved ones in a surprising way because that is going to make the smiles even broader!

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for a Smile
1. We’re having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing. – George Carlin (one of the cheekiest guys God ever made)

2. Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, “How long has Mom been drinking like this?” My Mom, after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes, “Here, kitty, kitty.” – David Letterman

3. Here I am 5 o’clock in the morning stuffing bread crumbs up a dead bird’s butt. – Roseanne Barr

4. It must be an odd feeling to be thankful to nobody in particular. Christians in public institutions often see this odd thing happening on Thanksgiving Day. Everyone in the institution seems to be thankful ‘in general.’ It’s very strange. It’s a little like being married in general. – Cornelius Plantinga, Jr.

5. It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with ‘gourmet’ status. – Russell Baker

See More>>Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Teachers

5. You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out ~Jay Leno

6. May your stuffing be tasty. May your turkey plump, May your potatoes and gravy, have a nary lump. May your yams be delicious, And your pies take the prize, And may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs. ~Anonymous

7. It must be an odd feeling to be thankful to nobody in particular. Christians in public institutions often see this odd thing happening on Thanksgiving Day. Everyone in the institution seems to be thankful ‘in general’. It’s very strange. It’s a little like being married in general. ~Cornelius Plantinga, Jr

8. What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? ~Erma Bombeck

9. I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. ~Jon Stewart

Short Funny Thanksgiving Messages
10. Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.” – €”Johnny Carson

11. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’™s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself. – €”Mitch Hedberg

12. I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. It’s a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving. – Craig Ferguson

13. We’re having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing. – George Carlin

14. On Thanksgiving Day, all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment – halftime. ~Author Unknown

Happy Thanksgiving Quotes 2019
15. I celebrated Thanksgiving the old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.” —Jon Stewart

16. Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.” —Johnny Carson

17. Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out.” —Nicole Hollander

18. Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.” —Kevin James

19. It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.” —Phyllis Diller

20. I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. – Jon Stewart

21. My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow. – Rita Rudner

22. There is no sincerer love than the love of food. – George Bernard Shaw

23. My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. – Phyllis Diller

24. Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year; to the honest man it comes as frequently as the heart of gratitude will allow. – Edward Sandford Martin

25. Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. ~ Erma Bombeck

26. Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. -Erma Bombeck

27. Thanksgiving – when the people who are the most thankful are the ones who didn’t have to cook. – Melanie White

28. It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak. – €”Phyllis Diller

29. It’s not the minutes spent at the table that put on weight, it’s the seconds.

30. I’m excited about Thanksgiving because I love unwelcome parenting advice from relatives I see twice a year.

Funny Thanksgiving Picture Quotes

Awesome & Funny Thanksgiving Picture Quotes – A picture certainly speak a thousand words, but when it gathers up together with some words, there is no contrast to share the best of your feelings. So, use this wonderful collection of funny thanksgiving picture quotes and be it the most unforgettable Thanksgiving this year. Thanksgiving is the time to turn emotional but when some humor is gathered up together with seriousness, there is literally no match to celebrate the occasion to its best.

These funny thanksgiving picture quotes offer the best opportunity to share your feelings with the people you care most about. Saying thank you is not a big thing, but this becomes big when you say it in the style that touches other person’s heart. And this wonderful collection of funny thanksgiving does it all for you. This collection of funny thanksgiving images reflect what the pictures want to say. Hence deliver the best to your favorite people out there and let them feel how blessed they are to have you along.

Best Funny Thanksgiving Picture Quotes

“Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.” —Johnny Carson

Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.” – €”Johnny Carson

See More ->>> Funny Thanksgiving Stories

“After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.” – Oscar Wilde

“Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out.” —Nicole Hollander

If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’™s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself. – €”Mitch Hedberg

See More ->>> Top 10 Funny Thanksgiving Memes 2017

I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. It’s a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving. – Craig Ferguson

 

“Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.” —Kevin James

We’re having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing. – George Carlin

See More ->>> 10 Inspirational Thanksgiving Poems

“You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.” —Jay Leno

“It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.” —Phyllis Diller

Best Funny Thanksgiving Quotes about Family & Friends

Best Funny Thanksgiving Quotes about Family & Friends – No relation is prior to these special people called family. So, this Thanksgiving let us gift our families one of the best things, the appreciating words. When the family sits together around the table, there can be no other best time to share these Funny thanksgiving quotes about family. So, be ready to turn this get-together into the most amazing moment of your day. This funny Thanksgiving quotes to assist in offering gratitude in such an amazing way that one can feel the thrill of words. Stop taking minutes, just grab the chance and share these wonderful Thanksgiving quotes with the ones you care most about.

Families deserve thanks in a distinctive way and these quotes do no less than achieving that satisfaction. Wish to turn even more innovative this Thanksgiving? Leave these quotes under the food bowls served on the table. Make your mother feel that she is the best cook and let her feel how her made food is special than anything else on this earth. Likewise, let your father see thanksgiving quotes slip when he slips his hand in valet. No end to the ways and when the Thanksgiving quotesare so expressive, the task turns even easier.

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes about Family & Friends

  1. When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around. – Willie Nelson
  2. Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out.” —Nicole Hollander
  3. There are only two ways to live your life.  One is as though nothing is a miracle.  The other is as if everything is. Albert Einstein
  4. You can only govern men by serving them. The rule is without exception. Victor Kiam
  5. Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” –Oprah Winfrey
  6. I love Thanksgiving because it’s a holiday that is centered around food and family, two things that are of utmost importance to me. ~ Marcus Samuelsson
  7. Give thanks to the Lord for he is good. His love endures forever.
  8. Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough. ~ Oprah Winfrey
  9. Archeologists 10,000 years from now will believe this was a sacred feast where gravy boats were worshipped.  ~ Just Bill
  10. What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? — Erma Bombeck, “No One Diets on Thanksgiving,” 26 November 1981
  11. W. Clement Stone ~ If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share.
  12. Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.” ~ Kevin James
  13. I don’t have a solution, but I certainly admire the problem. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
  14. Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” ~ Charles Dickens
  15. We’re getting ready to sit down at the table and have Thanksgiving, and there’s people that are not with their families. There are people that are in dangerous areas, putting their lives on the line to keep our country free, and I think that’s something we should all celebrate every day. ~ Guy Fieri
  16. Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never ever have enough.
  17. Thanksgiving is a time to give, a time to love, and a time to reflect on the things that matter most in life. ~ Danielle Duckery
  18. How to cut a turkey the Republican way: give 1% of your guests 99% of the meat. ~ Andy Borowitz
  19. Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. ~ Michael Dresser
  20. Henry David Thoreau ~ I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual.
  21. It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak. ~ Phyllis Diller

Funny Thanksgiving Sayings

Most Inspiring Funny Thanksgiving Sayings – So, are you all set to make this Thanksgiving full of gratitude together with fun? If yes! We are ready to accompany you. We have a wonderful collection of funny Thanksgiving quotes and sayings to help you kick start your festivities on a grateful note. So, stop giving it a second thought. Just raise your glass, set your spirit high and share these most inspiring funny thanksgiving sayings  with your dear ones. Just show them how thankful you are while keeping your humor high.

Looking for the perfect moment to come and celebrate your Thanksgiving? Stop waiting! Snatch the moment and make it perfect. When the family, friends and all your dear ones gather around a table, just take a moment and express your gratitude with these funny and most amazing thanksgiving sayings. These thanksgiving quotes for facebook are going to fetch you the attention while making you express in the most amazing manner.

Funny Thanksgiving Sayings

1. If you count all your assets, you always show a profit. ~ Robert Quillen

2. I have strong doubts that the first Thanksgiving even remotely resembled the “history” I was told in second grade. But considering that (when it comes to holidays) mainstream America’s traditions tend to be over-eating, shopping, or getting drunk, I suppose it’s a miracle that the concept of giving thanks even surfaces at all. ~ Ellen Orleans

3. Thanksgiving: Not a good day to be my pants! ~ Kevin James

4. Happy We-Stole-Your-Land-and-Killed-Your-People Day! ~ Thanksgiving toast, from the movie Sweet November

5. Thanksgiving Day, a function which originated in New England two or three centuries ago when those people recognized that they really had something to be thankful for – annually, not oftener – if they had succeeded in exterminating their neighbors, the Indians, during the previous twelve months instead of getting exterminated by their neighbors, the Indians. Thanksgiving Day became a habit, for the reason that in the course of time, as the years drifted on, it was perceived that the exterminating had ceased to be mutual and was all on the white man’s side, consequently on the Lord’s side; hence it was proper to thank the Lord for it and extend the usual annual compliments. ~ Mark Twain

See More>> Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for a Smile

Images for Funny Thanksgiving Sayings

6. Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shotgun going, Blam! Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are? – ”Kenny Rogerson

7. I celebrated Thanksgiving the old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.” – €”Jon Stewart

8. Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape … to play Santa Claus. – Melanie White

9. I’€m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’€™m thankful for that.” – €”Howie Mandel

10. Shot my first turkey today..scared the crap out of everyone in the froze food section, it was awesome

Funny Thanksgiving Sayings 2019

11. Store security stopped my wife at the door for trying to steal a butterball turkey. I had to show ID 12. proving I’m not a butterball turkey. – Just Bill

12. I’m looking forward to seeing pie this Thanksgiving more than members of my own family. – Damien Fahey

13. What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? To be or not to be roasted, that is the question.

14. Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes.Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not the coincidence. ~Erma Bombeck

15. What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? – Erma Bombeck

16. I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall a number of times and then ordering online.” —Kumail Nanjiani

17. I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.” —Erma Bombeck

18. The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ ‘But we do that every day!’ ‘Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?’” —Jim Gaffigan

19. I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’m thankful for that.” —Howie Mandel

20. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself.” —Mitch Hedberg

Funny Thanksgiving Sayings

21. Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks.

22. They should change the name of Thanksgiving to something more fitting like say, Turkeypocolypse or Stuffing-cide.

23. Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, one by one, as each relative goes home. – Melanie White

24. Who doesn’t eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.

25. A new survey found that 80 percent of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Which makes sense, when you hear they consider saying “that smells good” to be helping – Jimmy Fallon

26. The funny thing about Thanksgiving, or any huge meal, is that you spend 12 hours shopping for it and then chopping and cooking and braising and blanching. Then it takes 20 minutes to eat it and everybody sort of sits around in a food coma, and then it takes four hours to clean it up. ~ Ted Allen

27. Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey – until Thanksgiving. ~ Mike Connolly

28. The thing I’m most thankful for right now is elastic waistbands. ~ Anonymous

29. I love Thanksgiving turkey. It’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger

30. Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. ~ Johnny Carson

Funny Thanksgiving Messages

Exclusive Funny Thanksgiving Messages 2017 – Thanksgiving is the hour to turn emotional, but this deserves to have a funny side too. So, stop looking for emotional and eye-filling thanksgiving messages. This fest is meant to bring smiles on faces. We have gathered the most amazing funny thanksgiving messages for you to share across. So, let the faces experience the widest smiles ever. We are sharing the exclusive thanksgiving messages which hold the power of bringing tears and also let you laugh out like anything.

We believe that this festival needs to have a funny side too, for which we share such funny thanksgiving messages with you. So let the festival fever stay high while setting the moment higher. Just feel the flash of time when a family gathers around the table and you utter Happy thanksgiving messages. No doubt, it is going to make you lead of the show. So, let the families have that blink of a funny and emotional moment.

Images for Funny Thanksgiving Messages

Pride slays thanksgiving, but a humble mind is the soil out of which thanks naturally grow. A proud man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves. Henry Ward Beecher

Our family is so busy that thanksgiving is the only time we ever see each other, that is sad.

May your Thanksgiving be filled with love and cheer, but also with full tummies. Happy Thanksgiving!

“T was the night before Thanksgiving, all the food’s in the oven, And I’m in the bedroom perform in’ self lovin!”

Warm thoughts are prayers for you, may you have a happy and peaceful year all the through.

See More ->>> Happy Thanksgiving Images and Quotes

For what I have received may the Lord make me truly thankful. And more truly for what I have not received. Storm Jameson

At least our family gets complete on thanksgiving, at the very least, that is rewarding, right?

I just want to thank you for all that you have done for me for all this year, it is thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a blessing in disguise. With your friends and family near, make this day as special as you can and thank them with your heart. Happy Thanksgiving!

“Not what we say about our blessings, But how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving!”

“Thankfulness creates gratitude which, Generates contentment, That causes peace!”

I wish you a lovely holiday, thank you for being my best friend – Happy Thanksgiving

Always expect the unexpected. Right around Thanksgiving, when the new Alex Cross will be out. It’s called Four Blind Mice and it’s a pretty amazing story about several murders inside the military. James Patterson

The best part in thanksgiving is you get to thank your crush without him having a clue about it

Take me back to those times when saying thank you means a lot between me and you, friend.

See More>>Funny Thanksgiving Quotes about Family

Best of all is it to preserve everything in a pure, still heart, and let there be for every pulse a thanksgiving, and for every breath a song. Konrad von Gesner

Let us make offerings and have a feast to celebrate everything that we have gained this year.

For this year, let us indulge ourselves with the grains of our hard labor and celebrate the blessings our ancestors of the past have worked hard for so that we are able to be okay today.

Today is a wonderful day so that we can eat all we want to eat, it is thanksgiving after all.

Have you heard about the saying that no one should ever diet on thanksgiving? Well I am telling you that is true, because if you do, then it would be nonsense to call it the way it is.

See More ->>> Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Adults

Warmest thoughts and Best Wishes for a Wonderful Holiday and a very Happy New Year!

Sending you my warm wishes from home to home and from heart to heart to wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving! May this day be a beautiful reminders of the wonderful things in life.

The gift of wonderful friends is the nicest blessing of all. You are in my heart and prayers all year, and, especially during this special season.

Mom, nobody does Thanksgiving like you!, You’re the Queen!, Thank you very much, Happy Thanksgiving!!

You’re a role model for me , And anyone that ever wanted to know, How to be a perfect dad, Happy Thanksgiving, Dad!”

Funny Thanksgiving Memes

Top 10 Funny Thanksgiving Memes 2019 – Are you looking for funny thanksgiving memes to offer gratitude to your special ones? Here is the wonderful collection of memes that will make you and your people go crazy. These memes use amazing text and images that will surely win attention and make your special ones feel blessed. Thanksgiving is all about making the dearest people of your life happy. And with that aim, we have designed these thanksgiving memes. So, this Thanksgiving let the humor retain its place.

The funny thanksgiving memes with all the logic and emotional touch is going to take your heart. Simple messages, sayings, and wishes is something that every person does. However, with these memes, you have all the opportunity to say it in a distinctive way. When you express gratitude and that too in a different style, there is no count to the happiness that other person feels. So, with these Thanksgiving memes, let this thrill remain higher. Share these memes with your people for a Thanksgiving full of fun.

Funny Thanksgiving Images with Quotes

Top Collection of Funny Thanksgiving Images and Quotes – If you are scrolling over to have the best collection of funny thanksgiving images and quotes, stop wandering! We have an exclusive range of funny thanksgiving images and quotes to make this day special for your dear ones. A unique variety of funny thanksgiving images and quotes let the other person realize how special he or she is for you, which is your ultimate goal on any Thanksgiving. Be it images or the quotes, both are one of the best mediums to express what you feel.

Hence thanksgiving is meant to speak your heart and offer gratitude to the people you admire most, this needs to be a special occasion. These funny Thanksgiving quotes and images focus on different situations for which you can be thankful to the concerned people. So, share these across and let the other person actually feel into the situation. The more you share, more is the fun on Thanksgiving. Happy Sharing on this Thanksgiving!

Funny Thanksgiving Images and Quotes

“I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall a number of times and then ordering online.” —Kumail Nanjiani

Happy Thanksgiving to someone I’d have no problem stomping to death on Black Friday.

The best part in thanksgiving is you get to thank your crush without him having a clue about it

Take me back to those times when saying thank you means a lot between me and you, friend.

It is our ancestors who have blessed us with the things they did before us, let us thank them today and let them see that we appreciate everything that they had done for us so we can enjoy.

Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before. — Rita Rudner

You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.” — Jay Leno – Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not the coincidence. — Erma Bombeck

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. — Erma Bombeck

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. – Johnny Carson

See More>>35 Funny Thanksgiving Messages for Friends & Family

Wish your blessings would be multiplied within this year and they would remain for the rest of your life as well. Enjoy the Thanksgiving Day.

The best gift that you can receive in your life is the blessing of all. May you have it on this Thanksgiving Day.

I wish the best things in your life be with you, not only on this Thanksgiving Day but also in other 364 days of the year.

May the God hear all your prayers and bless you with a wonderful Thanksgiving.

This is the special day where we can count our blessings for all the things that we are thankful for. Wishing you the best Thanksgiving.

May your blessings be multiplied this year and throughout all your life. Happy Thanksgiving wishes to you!

The gift of life is the best blessing of all. May you have a wonderful and meaningful Thanksgiving!

May the best things in life be yours, not only this Thanksgiving but throughout the years. Happy Thanksgiving from my heart to yours!

May the Lord hear your prayers and bless you with an eternal joy. Happy Thanksgiving!

Thank you for being my role model. May you have a blessed Thanksgiving!

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.” —Erma Bombeck

The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ ‘But we do that every day!’ ‘Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?’ —Jim Gaffigan

May your Thanksgiving travels be miserable enough to make spending time with family seem comparatively tolerable.

What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?” ― Erma Bombeck

Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.” – Stephen Colbert